Zachary is learning a valuable lesson–that sometimes mom knows best.

Had he listened to me and put his brand new $100 bill away when I told him to, it wouldn’t have fallen out of his pocket. And he wouldn’t have mowed over it. What makes it heartbreaking for me is that this is $100 he earned himself, mowing lawns. As much as I want to simply replace it, I know that I would be doing him a disservice if I did. If I dropped a hundred dollar bill on the street and walked away, no one’s going to give me another one. Hopefully, my bank will take pity on him and swap the pieces of his shredded bill for a new one (I think we’re close to 50%). Otherwise, my heart will hurt because he’s upset. But I bet that next time I tell him to do something important, he listens to me.

All the way to the store tonight (and back) I’ve been trying to dream up a new post. Sometimes inspiration comes in floods, and sometimes it doesn’t come at all. That’s how I was feeling tonight. I couldn’t think of anything even remotely interesting to put on paper, let alone on the perma-web.

Fast forward to that peaceful place when Jonah is in bed and daddy is in the office working. No TV, no distractions. Just me and the Goose. I was enjoying some quiet time with Zachary when a random thought occurred to me. “I wonder what Zachary knows/thinks about his mommy.” So while he was beating his Zune at checkers, I thought up 20 questions to pose to my beyond-his-years 5-year old. Here are the results:

Obviously I’m asking the questions (Q), and he’s responding (A). 😉

Q. What is mommy’s favorite color?
A. Red. Just like me.

Q. What is mommy’s favorite animal:?
A. The muskox. Ha ha! i’m just being sarcastic. ((Sarcastic is his new favorite word. Isn’t that cute? Did you notice the sarcasm?)) You really love polar bears.

Okay. The kid’s 2 for 2.

Q. What is mommy’s middle name?
A. Jean. Because of Great-Grandma Jean.

Honestly, I had no idea he knew what my middle name was.

Q. What’s daddy’s middle name?
A. I have no idea.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite food.
A. My guess would be spaghetti since we have it so much.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite team.
A. The Vikings, d’uh!

Q. What does mommy do?
A. You work on the computer all day.

Q. What does daddy do?
A. He sells snacks and sodas to people.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite music?
A. U2. ((Okay, while U2 isn’t a music, it’s still a good answer.))

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite thing to do?
A. I’m guessing work on the computer since you do it so much.

Ouch.

Q. How old is mommy?
A. [insert scrunchy face, and steamy ears] You’re 37.
My response: how do you know that?!
His answer: because daddy’s 38 and you’re 1 year younger.

Damn, was I that smart at 5??

Q. Who does mommy like better, Iron Man or Spiderman?
A. Iron Man. I know you don’t like Spiderman. ((I know this fact breaks his heart, because he loves Spiderman.))

Trick Q. Who’s a better driver? Mommy or Daddy?
Correct A. You are, because you have a sports car and they’re harder to drive.

That’s my boy! 😉

Q. How does mommy usually feel?
A. Kind of mad. Well, kind of mad when Jonah is running around. When he’s in his chair you’re usually happy.

Hmm, note to self: keep Jonah strapped in chair all day.

Q. Who do you think mommy would rather be: Princess Leia, or Darth Vader?
A. I know you like Darth Vader cuz he’s cool, but I think you’d want to be Princess Leia cuz she’s good and Darth Vader’s bad. You’re good.

I love that my kid still thinks I’m good. Give it a few years, he’ll think I’m Vader.

Q. What color eyes does mommy have?
A. Blue.
Follow-up: What color eyes do you have?
A. Blue.
Follow-follow-up: What color eyes does daddy have?
A. Blue
Follow-follow-follow-up: What color eyes does Jonah have?
A. Mom, this is stupid. his eyes are blue too.

Q. Did my kid just call me stupid?

Q. What do you like best about mommy?
A. You love me.

Q. What do you like least about mommy?
A. You work on the computer all the time.

Q. How would you describe mommy?
A. You’re the awesomest mommy I’ve had in my life.

As opposed to the mommy he sent back. Okay, seriously, you just can’t buy better positive affirmation than that!

And finally,

Q. Who’s the boss in our house?
A. Mommy. Oh, and daddy. I’d better say daddy too.

That’s right–he knows what’s what!

And there you have it. 20 things my kid thinks and/or knows about me. Now That’s a meme!

Literally. I have the Dyson DC25 Upright Ball and I can’t begin to tell you how much I love this thing. I know, you’re thinking it’s lame to be blogging about a stupid vacuum, but I’ve had this post as a draft for months. Every time I vacuum, I remind myself that I need to finish it. ((This should tell you how often I vacuum, and explain my need for a really good one. 😆 )) I think the world should know how great this vacuum is.

Hate to vacuum? You wouldn’t if you had this baby. The ball was a brilliant idea and I can’t believe it took this long for someone to think of it. Like my favorite prostitute said about the Lotus Esprit, “This baby corners like it’s on rails!” ((Let’s see who comments with the movie reference.))

And suck? The ball does! My Dyson picks up dirt from the lady who lived here before, and we’ve been here over three years. With 2 kids, 1 dog, 1 husband, 1 cat, lots of dirt, sand and dust, I don’t know how I survived before I got this thing. It also goes easily from carpet to bare floor at the touch of a button at the top of the vacuum and not the bottom.

If you can, do yourself (and your floors) a favor and invest in one. It’s the last vacuum you’ll ever own. This site has the DC24 for $399 and free shipping–not a bad deal.

That pretty much sums up how I feel about the grocery store. There’s guaranteed to be at least one argument a week between me and Chris due to something we need because I’ve been abducted by aliens put off going to the store.

In an attempt to stave off that argument during the upcoming week I bit the bullet and not only went to the grocery store, but went with Jonah. While these trips are not enjoyable to me, there is one thing I DO love: saving money. During today’s excursion, I saved…

…$48.00 off of my total grocery bill! Seriously. At checkout, my total was originally 171.54 and by the time I was done, it was 123.36. My mom would be so proud!

While it’s not really rocket science, saving money weekly at the grocery store does take some planning, and a little effort. Here’s how I do it:

A menu and a list. ((Planning your menu a week in advance also has the advantage of keeping you organized, and in my case, sane.)) Armed with your menu, go through your fridge, freezer, and cupboards to see what you already have. Then you can write down what you need. I never enter the grocery store (except for an emergency trip) without my list.

I also recommend sticking to the list. For the most part, if I didn’t write it down at home I don’t need it. This helps me avoid buying impromptu, unnecessary things that the stores are trying to ram down my throat.

Coupons. D’uh! I know you’re thinking this one’s pretty obvious, however, you’d be amazed to know how many people don’t use coupons when they shop. For some it’s the worry of appearing ‘cheap’ or ‘poor’; for others it’s the time needed to clip and organize coupons; and some people just don’t think of it. IMHO, there is no reason good enough to shop without coupons.

1. I know I’m not cheap, ((I may be easy, but I’m never cheap 😉 )) and I know I’m not poor. I could care less what the person behind me thinks. I’m laughing all the way to the bank.
2. I spend maybe 45 minutes a week—and that’s a high estimate#&8212;clipping and organizing my coupons. The way I see it, this week I earned $48 in 45 minutes. Not bad.
3. If you haven’t thought of it before, maybe you will after reading this post. 🙂

It really doesn’t/shouldn’t take that long to clip coupons. Set aside an hour armed with the Sunday paper, the scissors, and a coupon organizer ((I bought my coupon organizer at the dollar store—for a dollar!)) Clip your coupons and place them in the organizer. And while you’re doing this, remove any coupons you have that are expired. They won’t be honored.

Two final tips about coupon-clipping:

1. Don’t clip coupons for items like BBQ-frosted flakes, or anything else you know you will never buy.
2. Along those lines, however, be flexible. If you see a coupon for a product made by a brand you don’t normally buy, try it.

Store cards. If your store requires a card (like Winn-Dixie and Albertsons) to get store specials, just do it.

Store specials. Once you’re a “card member” take advantage of store specials! The two major grocery chains in my neighborhood both offer weekly buy-1-get-1-free specials and I take full advantage. As with coupons, don’t buy things you know you won’t use even if it is BOGO.

Take advantage of store coupons. I dislike going to Winn-Dixie, however, since it is much closer than Publix, I am forced to shop there at times. What I do like is their coupon machine. Every visit I’m sure to get some coupons with my receipt and one of these coupons is always a $10 off coupon (with an expiration date). I hoard these! There have even been times when I’ve had more than one and have shared the wealth with an unsuspecting shopper.

ATTENTION PUBLIX SHOPPERS: If you shop at Publix, you should know that they take competitor’s coupons. More often than not I will take my Winn-Dixie $10 off coupons and redeem them at Publix. ((Check out your local Publix just in case, however, before presenting them with a competitor’s coupon.))

By following the steps above I average a savings of approximately $40/week. Unfortunately, this month those savings will be going to our energy bill.

This post was generously brought to you by small business opportunity. There are some businesses for sale. In this economy? Who knew?

Being the wonderful, loving wife that I am, I made corned beef and cabbage for Chris the other night. It’s one meal I know he loves, and it’s actually pretty easy since the slow cooker basically does all of the work. 🙂

I mentioned I was making this dish to my pleeps on Plurk and one friend requested the recipe. Being the obliging pleep that I am, @cfavreau, here is my recipe for corned beef and cabbage:

Web-Betty’s Corned Beef and Cabbage

Before getting started, learn from me: the one thing I always forget is how long it takes in the slow cooker. ((This is the main reason it doesn’t get made as often.)) Be sure you start early enough—this dish takes about 9 hours.

• 3-4 lb corned beef ((I like to rinse the corned beef off when I take it out of the package.))
• 4 carrots, cleaned and cut into pieces ((The size of the carrot pieces is up to you—the larger the carrots, the less squishy they get. I like ’em really squishy so I cut them into about 1″.))
• 1 large onion, quartered
• 6-8 medium-ish potatoes, peeled and quartered ((I use red or yukon gold potatoes, depending on what I have on hand.))
• 1 cup water
• 1/2 head of cabbage, cut in wedges

Beginning

1. Place all veggies—EXCEPT the cabbage— in the slow cooker. The order doesn’t matter.

2. Pour the water over the veggies.

3. Place the corned beef on top of the veggies. Most corned beef comes with a little package of seasoning. Spread the seasoning over the top of the corned beef.

4. Cover and cook on High for 6 hours.

Middle

1. After 6 hours, carefully remove the lid. Take the corned beef out (this is temporary 🙂 ).

2. Add the cabbage wedges and be sure to push them down into the “juice.”

3. Put the corned beef back into the slow cooker.

4. Cover and cook on High for an additional 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

End

Take the corned beef and veggies out of the slow cooker and serve hot. Bon Appétit!

I hope @cfavreau, and anyone else who is interested, enjoys this recipe. Let me know if you make it, and how it turned out!

This post was generously brought to you by healthy cooking, even though I’m not sure exactly how healthy corned beef is. 😛

I was thinking it again the other day when The Goose talked about not having his lunch at school. School dismissal was early, and the school calendar said NO LUNCH for these days. Understood. Oops, maybe not. The Goose informed me that a fellow kindergartener shared his lunch, and his teacher gave him a juice and some chips since he didn’t have a lunch. HUH?? The damn calendar said NO LUNCH. I understand English pretty well, and took NO LUNCH to mean that the students were released for a half day and lunch was my problem. I was obviously wrong. NO LUNCH really means BRING ONE FROM HOME. Couldn’t they have just said that??

It’s times like this that I feel like an idiot and wonder why I’m so ineffective. Today, I stopped myself, and thought of all the crap I did over the past weekend. Here’s a recrap:

• 7 loads of laundry (thank goodness I have a laundry hamper. Or two. Or two dozen)
• cleaned the living room
• cleaned the dining room
• cleaned the kitchen
• cleaned the turtle tank
• went grocery shopping for 3 boys, a dog, a cat, 2 birds and myself
• sent my mom a package
• kept the family fed
• did some online work

And that’s just two days (with a head cold, by the way).

This all has reminded me of those cheesy Enjoli ads from the 70s and 80s. Check it out:

Good stuff. I’m still not going to win any “Mother of the Year” awards, but I’m probably not going straight to hell, either.