In his usual, exuberant manner, Zachary sang with all of his voice, heart and body. I am very proud of him and his performance, and I hope that he always finds such joy in song and dance.

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.

I have to preface this post by saying that as parents, Chris and I have been incredibly lucky. Up until last Thursday. We’ve managed to go 6+ years with no major traumas to the boys. No broken bones, no stitches, no major maladies—so far only one hospital visit, years ago, which turned out to be an ear infection. So we were very unprepared for our first child trauma. And still we are very lucky. Our first trauma involved a big clay pot, a reckless almost-three-year-old, and an even fatter lip.

The Culprit

This is the culprit. A big clay pot. Innocent enough, until a silly toddler goes running haphazardly through the backyard, trips, and introduces his upper lip to Mr. Clay Pot. Blood, screaming, crying and mayhem ensue. Of course head wounds (and by extension mouth wounds) bleed profusely. So of course there was blood everywhere. Poor Jonah was screaming and crying. Zachary was crying because he was scared. Chris and I were just looking at each other with that WFT look in our eyes. It was not a pretty sight. After about 10 minutes and the promise of popsicles and The Backardigans, we were finally able to calm Jonah down.

Did I mention this was on Thursday? The weekend ((This weekend includes Friday.)) was spent cuddling and coddling the Bear. Giving lots of TLC, popsicles, and Nintendo DS time. On Friday his lip had swollen out past his nose—so swollen that his upper lip skin stretched too much and separated a little bit. Gross, I know.

Friday was mostly spent snuggling and trying to get liquids and nourishment into the Bear. He just couldn’t eat or drink much. It was heartbreaking. As a parent there really is nothing worse than your child in pain. And this was nothing I could “fix”. You can’t put a band-aid inside the mouth. The doctor said there was really nothing to do but let it heal on its own. Which sucks. Because while his mouth is healing on its own, the Bear still can’t eat, can’t drink, can’t have his binky, can’t give me sweet little kisses.

Poor little Bear

It was a really crappy, helpless weekend that was spent waiting for Jonah’s lip to get better. Throw in nasty antibiotics that he refuses to take and swabbing his mouth twice a day with yummy hydrogen peroxide, it’s safe to say that a good time was had by all.

It’s now Wednesday morning and the outside of his lip is back to normal. The inside of his lip isn’t as hamburger-like as it was four days ago. He’s drinking juice ((No drinking through a straw yet, however.)) and eating normally, as long as the food is cut up and he doesn’t have to use his front teeth to tear anything. All in all, things are almost back to normal.

So now I can sit back and reflect on our first big trauma. In a word, it sucked. Chris and I spent the weekend looking at each other constantly with that helpless look our eyes. Having your child suffer, even if it is mildly, gives a parent a heavy heart and an upset stomach. I know that I am SO lucky. If this is the worst that ever happens I am the luckiest mother on the planet; however I’m not naive enough to think trouble will never befall my boys again. I will just give thanks that, in hindsight, this trauma was so mild. What do you think? Is this just preparing me for bigger, badder boo-boos in the future?

He still can manage a smile

• Dammit, tagged again!
• My favorite stuff: the movies
• Teenage meme

While he will be missed, like all great “documenters of life”, his movies will live on and his characters are unforgettable. Here are some reasons why.

Sixteen Candles

This is by far my favorite Hughes film. This film gave us a love for geeks everywhere and had all girls under the age of 18 proclaiming “I love Jake Ryan!”. Here are some of the more memorable quotes:

• I can’t believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.
• I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
• That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.
• Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?
• Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We’re safe as kittens.
• What was he wearing? Well, uh, let’s see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes… No, he’s not retarded.
• No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Another ALL-TIME classic! What teenager doesn’t fantasize about skipping school with their best friend, a hot babe, and an even hotter car?

• The question isn’t “what are we going to do,” the question is “what aren’t we going to do?”
• Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
• Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?
• A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile.
• Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.
• Oh, he’s very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.
• -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. ((Ferris Bueller was definitely on to something there.))

Pretty in Pink

What more do low-middle class teenage girls want, than to think that someone named Blaine was going to fall in love with them and take them away from it all. This movie actually pissed me off, because in the book, she goes with Ducky. ((And Ducky is who she should have gone with.))

• I know I’m old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.
• You said you couldn’t be with someone who didn’t believe in you. Well I believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me.
• His name is Blane? Oh! That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name
• She thinks you’re shit. And deep down, you know she’s right.
• Love’s a bitch, Duck. Love’s a bitch.
• Despite my appearance at this function, I remain now, and will always be, a Duckman.

Uncle Buck

John Hughes did more than just teen flicks. One of the all-time best comedies is Uncle Buck. This is truly John Candy at his best. And McCauley Culken at his best too, come to think of it.

• You should have seen the toast, I couldn’t even get it through the door!
• I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. ((Amen to that, Buck!!))
• Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
• Q: Why was your Uncle micro waving your socks? A: He can’t get the goddamn washing machine to work.
• How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep?
• I don’t know why we need boys at all. They’re so loud.

I could go on all night. Consider the movies I haven’t quoted. Can you name these movies?

Another teen classic.

• Accident my ass Gary! My parents are coming home. Chet’s coming home. They’re gonna freak out!!
• Why do you have to be such a wanker?

This one is probably on most 30-something’s top 10. I liked his others better but this is definitely a classic.

• Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn’t I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?
• Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
• Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us?

If you dont’ know this movie by one quote, well, you are NOT a fan.

• You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!

Of course, many of these movies would not be complete with a soundtrack to go with them. I’ve compiled a few that should help you with your stroll down memory lane.

And if that weren’t enough, did you know that John Hughes probably WROTE some of your other favorite films? Yes indeed! The films above are just the gems he directed! Here is a list of some classics penned by the dearly departed Hughes (in chronological order, to be fair):

• Mr. Mom
• Vacation
• European Vacation
• Some Kind of Wonderful
• She’s Having a Baby
• The Great Outdoors ((Hughes certainly loved John Candy!))
• Christmas Vacation
• Home Alone
• Maid in Manhattan (the story, not the screenplay)

Mr. Hughes, you spoke to me. You spoke to my generation. You made us laugh at ourselves and you made us cry because we were ourselves. You made it okay to be a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess or a criminal. Or a geek hoisting borrowed underwear. Or a fat man making the biggest pancake ever. You saw the best in us, even at our worst. And you will be missed.

I am sad today. A generation is sad today.

I’ve left out a TON of quotes, on purpose. Please comment with your fave.

Or should I say, no more Johnson Family videos on YouTube. While I still have favorites, and will look to YouTube for humor, political, or just random videos, I will no longer be using their services to post our family videos. This has been a long time coming, as I’ve toyed with this thought for several months now. First when I saw they had added the feature to show other ‘like’ videos within my embedded videos, then when I compared their crappy video quality to the video quality I’m getting from Apple’s MobileMe (or a different provider, should I decide not to stick with MoblieMe) Daily Motion.

UPDATE 2/5/09: While MobileMe offers great features and wonderful video quality, I am not going to subscribe. I just don’t use enough of the features and options to justify the $99. I did find a great alternative: Daily Motion. ((I’ve edited the remaining text within this post to reflect the change to Daily Motion.))

The deciding factor against YouTube, however, was when I found a mean and nasty comment on the last video I posted of Jonah and Zachary being silly and dancing. The comment stated “This is the dumbest video ever. Too stupid.” and the commenter rated it 1-star. You can say anything you want about me, but be an asshole to my kids, and we have a problem. I thought about keeping the comment, and commenting back on just what I thought of this loser, then I decided it wouldn’t be worth it. One thing I’ve learned is that there are a lot of stupid people on the internet, and they’re not going to change simply because I point out their stupidity to them.

So from now on videos will be uploaded to Daily Motion and embedded from there.

Here’s the video Mr. Jackass hated so much. Two kids having fun, what could be cuter?

Like YouTube, feel free to leave your comments below (unless you were going to say something nasty—then we’ll need to chat).

I will apologize in advance for the “Blair Witch Project” filming of Zachary’s program. I was wearing heels and standing in the back. The result is not as smooth as I would like. Click on the play button to start (if you dare).

Jonah’s program was great for several reasons. First, I brought my tripod. Second, it was nice and short. His is the youngest class so they went first, meaning the boys were in bed on time. Of course, the entertainment value of Jonah’s program lies in the fact that there’s really not much too it except a bunch of 2-year olds crying and looking cute. Jonah was pretty funny. He was okay until he saw us. Then he would point to us and start to cry. Then he’d try and shake is shaker. Then he’d point and cry. Vicious circle.