When all else fails, go for the meme!

melissa — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:12:00 +0000

Sometimes, even when there is a lot going on, I don’t want to blog about it. Am I lazy? Probably. Have I spent enough time living my day-to-day life, that to relive it here is a nuisance? Yep. Do I still like to hear myself write?¹ You know I do! So tonight I’m not going to bore you with how Jonah is mostly potty-trained, or how Zachary is reading at an almost 3rd grade level,² or how lives have adjusted since mom’s been back. Nope. Instead, it’s time for a meme! It’s the Who, What, Why, Where, When and Would meme.

Would I? Maybe. Who goes there? Who knows. What is that?! Read on, and maybe you’ll find out!

Who

…is easy to love?

My boys, of course.

…do you just wanna smack?

My boys, of course.

…do you trust?

Chris. I’ve never met anyone more trustworthy in my life.

…do you talk to when you’re alone?

The voices in my head? My Rice Krispies? Hmm, since I’m mostly alone I feel like this is a trick question.

What

…dangerous things do you do while driving?

Check my iPhone directions. I’m too cheap to pay for the turn-by-turn app.

…would you never, ever, ever give up?

Red wine. Ever.

…is Satan’s last name?

Tesh. As in John Tesh. I believe that man is truly evil.

…is the last thing that moved you?

A crazy wave of nostalgia that took my breathe away and brought me to tears.

…is the freakiest thing in your house?

My mother.

When

…is it time to turn over a new leaf?

When the old one is too dried up and shrivelly to hide behind.

…will you be all that you can be?

Probably never. I am, after all, human.³

…is enough enough?

When I find out I’ll let you know.

…do you go to the dark side?

That is between me and Chris.

Where

…are your pants?

On the floor with my socks, bra and shirt.

…is your last will and testament?

Uh, if I had one, it would be in the fireproof safe? (Is that the correct answer?)

…is your junk food stash?

I’m actually not much of a junk food eater, so I don’t have one. Now if you asked about my liquor stash, that would be another story.

…are you the happiest?

This is where I’m supposed to say something sweet like “Anywhere as long as I’m with my family,” or something equally schmaltzy. And this is true as long as anywhere is on a beach, with a fruity drink in my hand and a cabana boy.

Why

…are there no seat belts on school buses?

The same reasons school programs are cut, teachers are laid off, and there’s no more art class. MONEY.

…are musicians sexy and plumbers aren’t?

Plumber

Musician

Do I really need to answer that?

…did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

…do we revere athletes more than teachers?

Here’s a better question…why do we revere athletes more than our family?

Would You

…swim the English channel for a doughnut and coffee? If not, what?

Hell no! I hate doughnuts. I might, however, for a Brewery Bar II chile relleno smothered in their green chili!

…forgive someone who deliberately hurt you?

Isn’t that the job description for wife and parent?

…rather believe a lie if it hurt you less than the truth?

Unfortunately I live with the most honest man on the planet and two kids. That’s not even an option.

…still need me, would you still feed me, when I’m 64?⁴

That depends. Will you need to be fed with a spoon?

More on the subject...
Figure that one out yourself.
He’s only in first grade, BTW.
Seriously, look at Tiger Woods.
I know, I know, it’s will you still need me…

I hate sinuses and the new Pepsi logo, among other things: Random Tuesday Thoughts

melissa — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:05:12 +0000

I’m a little late to the party, but dammit, it’s still Tuesday here and I’ve been busy with shit that actually pays me.

This is my first venture into the Un-Mom’s Random Tuesday post, but I figured I have so much random stuff to say, this meme has my name all over it. Add a few glasses of Red, and I’m ready to go.

Welcome to “Random Tuesday Thoughts”! (Note: for my sensitive readers, some foul language may follow, as I’m feeling a little irritable right now. Read on at your own discrection )

Let the ranting begin!

I’m really ready for this fucking sinus infection to GO AWAY!. It’s been almost three weeks and I’m still more plugged up than a bathtub drain full of skanky hair. I’m wondering if the drugs aren’t working this time. Antibiotics for the virus, steroids for the asthma, inhaler for the asthma, and a lot of kleenex. Maybe I need to see a ENT specialist?

Can someone tell me what is up with the new Pepsi logo? I think it sucks. Honestly, Jonah and Zachary have created better work. Ugh!

Speaking of Zachary, the Goose quote of the week is “I have room in my heart for 162 people.” Wow, he’s a lot more generous than I am.

And now on to lawn guys. I have two things to say:

To the lawn guys who stole my husband’s power tools out of our garage, Karma is a bitch. I hope that when you use the drill, you drill into something electrical and your house explodes (with no one in it, of course). And I hope that when you use the sawzall, you come perilously close to losing an extremity. You don’t have to actually lose something, but I hope you come REALLY close.
Leaf blowers have to be the biggest waste of energy–both people and gas. Not a day goes by that I don’t seem some idiot wandering around the neighborhood with one of those stupid things strapped to their back. Walking back and forth, swinging his blower. I want to run them down with my car.

And one last note. While I find the line “Sent from my iPhone” incredibly pretentious, I can’t seem to be compelled to change and/or remove it when I email from my beloved phone.

Now it’s your turn. Give me some of your randomness!

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