The Web-Betty Blog » Jonah

Brotherly Love

melissa — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 22:58:18 +0000

And so it begins, the start of the bumps, bruises, scrapes, and other various physical evidence of “brotherly love”.

The afternoon’s love fest started with Zachary trying to watch the cartoon that Jonah was watching and Jonah blocking Zachary’s view. After a few renditions of “get out of my way!” followed by grunting and heavy breathing, I was not surprised when the high-pitched shrieking reached my ears.

When I got to the living room I found Zachary looking contrite and trying to console a wailing Jonah. Okay, he was really trying to talk him into not squealing on him. Which of course, Jonah promptly did. It seems that Jonah had been standing on the couch, and when he wouldn’t get out of Zachary’s way, Zachary pushed him. Off the couch.

From these pics it’s hard to see how big and dark the bruise was (the little bugger won’t stand sill!), but it’s several days later and he still has his “trophy”.

I’m sure this is just the first of many brother-inflicted wounds to come. I think it’s time to invest in a first aid kit. Or a stand-by EMT.

A Flurry of Activity

melissa — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:28:15 +0000

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

I would like to say that I took Ferris’s advice, and looked around once in a while over the holiday season. That, however, would be a big, FAT lie. There was simply too much to do. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the holidays—I enjoyed them very much. I was just very busy which is really ironic, since I had 12 days off.¹ Let’s see where all the time went.

First stop, Thanksgiving

We had a really nice Thanksgiving, even if Chris did try to add his thumb to the stuffing. If you don’t take anything away from this post, take this away: iPod, cleaver, onions, 80s dance moves—they do not go together! Injury aside, it was a blessed day with FL family, and we all ate way too much (sans Johnson thumb).

Zachary and Jonah ham it up for the camera

Once November came to a close we rushed right in to December, and the arrival of mom. Things just weren’t working out in Denver. Mom’s friend passed away earlier in the year forcing her to move, and putting her out of a job at the same time. In this economy it’s tough to look for work and mom ran out of options. So we asked her to come back to FL, either for an extended visit or for the long haul, if we can manage not to kill each other.

Work was as busy as always with fun projects and interesting clients, both with eCollege and freelance. While December is usually a slower work month, since I had to take all of my vacation and personal time or lose it, I only worked 14 days. That would explain my workload, lol! Add to that a Christmas program, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year’s and Jonah’s birthday, and you’ve got “Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma’am!” I can tell you this, it’s not easy playing mommy, Santa, Web Goddess, wife, daughter, and dominatrix, uh, wife.²

Christmas did seem to come and go, but it wasn’t a total blur. We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas Eve at Nana’s house. It was nice having so much family, mom included. Christmas morning brought another flurry of gifts, including a full-size telescope for Zachary and a plethora of Star Wars ships, figures, and clothing for Jonah. The gift that stole the show, however, was Rock Band 2. In a word, it ROCKS!! ³ I don’t know who loves it more, Chris and I, or Zachary. We have had so much fun playing it. I even received the The Beatles version as a gift and it is awesome! Now that vacation has passed it’s been tough putting Rock Band on the back burner. I think we’re bummed out more than The Goose.

After Christmas we had Jonah’s birthday. I thought the stores had run out of Star Wars items, but if they did it’s because we bought everything. He won’t run out of Star Wars things until he’s an adult and by then he can sell them for a profit. It was awesome watching Jonah run around the house playing with the Millenium Falcon and Yoda. At 3 he actually flies them around and plays with them. Is that odd? Of course not!

Jonah blows out his candles

And there you have it. A flurry of activity in six short weeks. Or six long weeks, depending on how you look at it.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s. I hope that 2010 is happy, prosperous, fulfilling and fun. I hope that all my family and friends get everything they deserve in this new year, and in many new years to come.

More on the subject...
That doesn’t include the other 3+ days I had off earlier in the month
Wait, I said wife already, didn’t I?
Is that why it’s called ROCK Band?

Trauma, thy name is fat lip

melissa — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:16:35 +0000

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.

I have to preface this post by saying that as parents, Chris and I have been incredibly lucky. Up until last Thursday. We’ve managed to go 6+ years with no major traumas to the boys. No broken bones, no stitches, no major maladies—so far only one hospital visit, years ago, which turned out to be an ear infection. So we were very unprepared for our first child trauma. And still we are very lucky. Our first trauma involved a big clay pot, a reckless almost-three-year-old, and an even fatter lip.

The Culprit

This is the culprit. A big clay pot. Innocent enough, until a silly toddler goes running haphazardly through the backyard, trips, and introduces his upper lip to Mr. Clay Pot. Blood, screaming, crying and mayhem ensue. Of course head wounds (and by extension mouth wounds) bleed profusely. So of course there was blood everywhere. Poor Jonah was screaming and crying. Zachary was crying because he was scared. Chris and I were just looking at each other with that WFT look in our eyes. It was not a pretty sight. After about 10 minutes and the promise of popsicles and The Backardigans, we were finally able to calm Jonah down.

Did I mention this was on Thursday? The weekend¹ was spent cuddling and coddling the Bear. Giving lots of TLC, popsicles, and Nintendo DS time. On Friday his lip had swollen out past his nose—so swollen that his upper lip skin stretched too much and separated a little bit. Gross, I know.

Friday was mostly spent snuggling and trying to get liquids and nourishment into the Bear. He just couldn’t eat or drink much. It was heartbreaking. As a parent there really is nothing worse than your child in pain. And this was nothing I could “fix”. You can’t put a band-aid inside the mouth. The doctor said there was really nothing to do but let it heal on its own. Which sucks. Because while his mouth is healing on its own, the Bear still can’t eat, can’t drink, can’t have his binky, can’t give me sweet little kisses.

Poor little Bear

It was a really crappy, helpless weekend that was spent waiting for Jonah’s lip to get better. Throw in nasty antibiotics that he refuses to take and swabbing his mouth twice a day with yummy hydrogen peroxide, it’s safe to say that a good time was had by all.

It’s now Wednesday morning and the outside of his lip is back to normal. The inside of his lip isn’t as hamburger-like as it was four days ago. He’s drinking juice² and eating normally, as long as the food is cut up and he doesn’t have to use his front teeth to tear anything. All in all, things are almost back to normal.

So now I can sit back and reflect on our first big trauma. In a word, it sucked. Chris and I spent the weekend looking at each other constantly with that helpless look our eyes. Having your child suffer, even if it is mildly, gives a parent a heavy heart and an upset stomach. I know that I am SO lucky. If this is the worst that ever happens I am the luckiest mother on the planet; however I’m not naive enough to think trouble will never befall my boys again. I will just give thanks that, in hindsight, this trauma was so mild. What do you think? Is this just preparing me for bigger, badder boo-boos in the future?

He still can manage a smile

More on the subject...
This weekend includes Friday.
No drinking through a straw yet, however.

Obsession starts early

melissa — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:55:18 +0000

I’ve been a Star Wars fan ever since standing in line with my Dad at the Cooper on Colorado Blvd in Denver, patiently waiting to get in to see the best sci-fi movie ever. I wasn’t even 6 at the time, which seems SO young to watch this film. Then it hits me that Zachary isn’t 6 yet and he’s been a Star Wars fan for over 2 years now. His delight with the franchise started with Legos, and a GameCube–the Lego’s Star Wars Game–which he earned at 3 by sleeping in his own bed seven nights in a row.¹ I finally succumbed to the pressure and let him watch the movie when he was 4, with me and dad, of course. He followed the movie, wasn’t scared, and when talking to him about it to make sure he wasn’t scarred for life, I was the silly one, “They aren’t real, mommy!”

Fast forward a few years. While I thought Zachary was tenacious (we often refer to him as “Tenacious Z”), he’s got NOTHING on his brother. Tenacious or obsessive, you be the judge.

Jonah has grown to the ripe old age of 2, watching Zachary play all forms of Star Wars. From the Lego’s Star Wars game I, and then II; watching bits of the movie here and there when no one thinks I’m paying attention; putting together Legos Star Wars battleships; playing with the light saber Zachary was given by my brother.² There is no shortage of Star Wars in this house. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Jonah has developed a complete and total obsession with the franchise. He literally wakes up in the morning with the battle cry “Mommy! Daddy! Star Wars!”

He loves to “play” the Lego’s game with Zachary on the GameCube, jumping up and down and mumbling to himself, just like big brother. He’s also fascinated with actual Legos. Now that I know he won’t put them in his mouth, he’s allowed to play with them. He carries his plastic container full of them through the house, perching here and there to swap out little hats, remove legs, and build little ships he then pretends to fly through the air. If it weren’t so damn annoying wasn’t such an obsession, it would be really cute.

He also “conducts” whenever he hears either the Star Wars theme, or the Imperial Death March,³ and he will carry around Zachary’s Star Wars sticker book literally for hours.

Actually, it is really cute. The part that’s not fun is having to repeatedly tell him “No!” when he attempts to find and play Zachary’s Nintendo DS. That is the one thing I won’t give in on. Those things are expensive–and Zachary should have at least one thing to call his own, right?

Watching these boys, I have to wonder where they get their obsessive tendencies from. Hmm, by the way, have I mentioned that we’re going to Vegas in June?

This post was generously brought to you by a box cutter. They come in handy when I have to open all those Legos boxes.

More on the subject...
Bribery works, he really wanted that GameCube. He’s been going to bed in his own bed quietly ever since.
I need to remember to thank him for bringing what is akin to a baseball bat into my home, to be swung around at random.
You’d be shocked to know that those songs actually play on an almost daily basis here.

One of those great days

melissa — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:30:44 +0000

Today was a great day. Nothing really special happened. I’m not on vacation. I didn’t win the lottery. It was just an ordinary, average, great day. It was the kind of day we live for as people, as moms, as family.

I started the day with a snuggly breakfast on the couch, watching cartoons with the boys. That’s always a great way to start the day.

The next great thing to happen was I tucked in my shirt and put on a belt while getting dressed. While that may not seem like anything special, those of you who know I’ve been on a weight loss mission will understand how big this is. For those of you who didn’t know, now you do. I haven’t tucked in a shirt in over 4 years, nor have I wore a belt. So as you can surmise, this is quite an accomplishment!

Then Jonah and I were off. The day was spent on a mission to retrieve one item from IKEA–a rolling storage container. The container wasn’t at all what I remembered so I had to pass. I also passed the small bookcase that goes with my office set, a nice set of shelves to put by the back door for all the back door stuff, and solutions for my electronic’s charging woes and Zachary’s these-things-belong-to-me woes (Jonah is getting very crafty). Believe it or not, I spent less than $80.

Then it was off to lunch at the Millenia Mall. Jonah and I shared a pizza at California Pizza Kitchen. He was his charming self, saying “please” and “thank you” for everything, and just being cute overall. This wasn’t one of those dining experiences where you want to get your 2-year old out as quick as possible. We had a really nice time.

Once lunch was finished, it was off to Apple to get a replacement battery for my MacBook. Now maybe my laptop will stop acting like a desktop since it doesn’t have to be tethered to a cord anymore. Again, Jonah was great at the mall.¹ We didn’t make it to the Nike store to return a pair of shoes–Jonah was tired and I wasn’t going to press my luck.

Imagine my surprise when I came home to find that Zachary and Chis had cleaned the front of the house. The living room, dining room, kitchen and sun room were clean. They had been picked up, dusted, swept and vacuumed.² Then, feeling particularly handy, Chris put together my bookcase and shelves. What more could a girl ask for?

The boys were in bed at 7:00, having had a busy day. I love my boys, but early bedtime is always nice! Since this is a G-rated blog, I have to resist talking about some evening activities.

So you see? It wasn’t an earth shattering day. It was just one of those rare, great, stars are aligned and everything’s groovy kind of days.

This post was graciously brought to you by faucets–one of the few things I haven’t bought at IKEA.

More on the subject...
I keep wondering who this kid is and whether or not I get to keep him.
Again, who are these people, and can they stay?

Enough about me, let’s talk about Jonah

melissa — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:44:31 +0000

I would love to know what goes through the mind of a strong-willed 2-year old. Jonah is that, and more. He’s crazy, smart, crafty and TWO. Here’s what you need to know about him right now:

Taking his cue from Zachary, he is now obsessed with Star Wars. (Or at least the GameCube Legos version of Star Wars.)

He looks so much like me when I was his age.

He loves daycare. Every morning has him climbing up the changing table to get dressed for school.

When told “I love you!” he will respond “ove you!” (Think “love” without the “L”)

His favorite things are butterflies and ladybugs.

He already looks up to his big brother for everything.

Daddy says, and I quote, “He’s a 2-year old terror!”

He loves music and dancing. (Hmm, I wonder where he gets that from?)

Above everything, he loves to color and write. The kid holds a pen with a perfect grip.

Books. The boy loves books. All books. I swear I read at least five books a day to him, and he sleeps with at least two books.

Jonah recognizes the colors red, blue, yellow, and green. He’s also been sorting shapes, correctly, for over 6 months.

And he’s finally a little talker. His vocabulary includes:

Mommy (of course!)
Daddy
Zachey
binky
No!
yes
Nana
Gigi
Uncle
butterfly (technically his first word)
bug
bottle
turtle
doggie
kitty
monkey
birdie
juice
please
thank you
eat
Star Wars (I’m not kidding on this one)
shoes
socks
mouse
pants
night night
moon (or “moot” as he actually calls it)
stars
birdy
plane
truck
cow
duck
two
empty
play
rocket (from Little Einsteins)
ball
football
burger
poopy
various animal noises
and more I’m sure I’m forgetting.

Finally, some of his phrases include:

“Help, mommy, now, please!”

“Ove you!” (translated as “Love you!”)

“No! No! No! No!”

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”

“Da-ddy!”

“Funny!”

“All done.”

He’s saying more everyday. That’s our Little Bear right now. All the trials and tribulations of life with a 2-year old.

This post was generously brought to you by unlocked cell phones.

The boys are off to college!

melissa — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 02:32:35 +0000

In 16 years, either I will have two kids in college and I can pat myself on the back for a job well done, or I will have the best party $50,000 can buy. We just beat the deadline to lock in the current rates for the Florida pre-paid college plan, and I have now agreed to dish out over $200/month for the next 12 years to ensure that Zachary and Jonah will at least have their college tuitions paid for.

In these economic times, the thought of parting with another $200 a month doesn’t thrill me. The thought, however, of my boys having the opportunity to attend college and not worry about where the tuition is coming from does thrill me. Oh, and not having to pay the projected $141,000 (EACH) to send them tickles my fancy too.

This post was generously brought to you by Outer Banks rentals. The boys don’t go to college, I could buy a few rentals of my own!

The simple things in life

melissa — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 04:55:42 +0000

Remember when you were a kid? What did you love to do? I remember I loved singing, coloring, and playing outside. I bet these were things you enjoyed also.

As we get older, life gets messier, and we don’t have time for all of the things we loved. Having kids makes up for that sometimes. I now have the opportunity to live vicariously through two fabulous boys—I just need to slow down and remember that. Especially when there is no yelling, crying, fighting, or throwing of non-throwable¹ objects. In an extremely rare moment, I actually had both boys sitting at their table painting together. It truly was a thing of beauty.

Want to see what that actually looks like?

This post was generously brought to you by emergency light. I couldn’t think of anything witty to say. Crap!

No more YouTube

melissa — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:21:17 +0000

Or should I say, no more Johnson Family videos on YouTube. While I still have favorites, and will look to YouTube for humor, political, or just random videos, I will no longer be using their services to post our family videos. This has been a long time coming, as I’ve toyed with this thought for several months now. First when I saw they had added the feature to show other ‘like’ videos within my embedded videos, then when I compared their crappy video quality to the video quality I’m getting from Apple’s MobileMe (or a different provider, should I decide not to stick with MoblieMe) Daily Motion.

UPDATE 2/5/09: While MobileMe offers great features and wonderful video quality, I am not going to subscribe. I just don’t use enough of the features and options to justify the $99. I did find a great alternative: Daily Motion.¹

The deciding factor against YouTube, however, was when I found a mean and nasty comment on the last video I posted of Jonah and Zachary being silly and dancing. The comment stated “This is the dumbest video ever. Too stupid.” and the commenter rated it 1-star. You can say anything you want about me, but be an asshole to my kids, and we have a problem. I thought about keeping the comment, and commenting back on just what I thought of this loser, then I decided it wouldn’t be worth it. One thing I’ve learned is that there are a lot of stupid people on the internet, and they’re not going to change simply because I point out their stupidity to them.

So from now on videos will be uploaded to Daily Motion and embedded from there.

Here’s the video Mr. Jackass hated so much. Two kids having fun, what could be cuter?

Mambo!
Uploaded by Web-Betty

Like YouTube, feel free to leave your comments below (unless you were going to say something nasty—then we’ll need to chat).

This post was generously brought to you by brown recluse spider trap. I wonder if these traps catch black widows—we had some of those in our garage over the summer.

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I’ve edited the remaining text within this post to reflect the change to Daily Motion.

Christmas programs only a family could love

melissa — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:29:28 +0000

‘Tis the season for shopping, baking, decorating, and Christmas programs. Of course, two boys = two programs. This year we were lucky and both programs were in the same week. Zachary’s program was nice, except he didn’t really participate too much—he just can’t stand still! He did do some mean air trombone though.

I will apologize in advance for the “Blair Witch Project” filming of Zachary’s program. I was wearing heels and standing in the back. The result is not as smooth as I would like. Click on the play button to start (if you dare).

Zachary’s Kindergarten Xmas Program
Uploaded by Web-Betty

Jonah’s program was great for several reasons. First, I brought my tripod. Second, it was nice and short. His is the youngest class so they went first, meaning the boys were in bed on time. Of course, the entertainment value of Jonah’s program lies in the fact that there’s really not much too it except a bunch of 2-year olds crying and looking cute. Jonah was pretty funny. He was okay until he saw us. Then he would point to us and start to cry. Then he’d try and shake is shaker. Then he’d point and cry. Vicious circle.

Jonah’s First Christmas Program
Uploaded by Web-Betty