• Dammit, tagged again!
• My favorite stuff: the movies
• Teenage meme

While he will be missed, like all great “documenters of life”, his movies will live on and his characters are unforgettable. Here are some reasons why.

Sixteen Candles

This is by far my favorite Hughes film. This film gave us a love for geeks everywhere and had all girls under the age of 18 proclaiming “I love Jake Ryan!”. Here are some of the more memorable quotes:

• I can’t believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.
• I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
• That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.
• Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?
• Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We’re safe as kittens.
• What was he wearing? Well, uh, let’s see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes… No, he’s not retarded.
• No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Another ALL-TIME classic! What teenager doesn’t fantasize about skipping school with their best friend, a hot babe, and an even hotter car?

• The question isn’t “what are we going to do,” the question is “what aren’t we going to do?”
• Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
• Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?
• A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile.
• Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.
• Oh, he’s very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.
• -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. ((Ferris Bueller was definitely on to something there.))

Pretty in Pink

What more do low-middle class teenage girls want, than to think that someone named Blaine was going to fall in love with them and take them away from it all. This movie actually pissed me off, because in the book, she goes with Ducky. ((And Ducky is who she should have gone with.))

• I know I’m old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.
• You said you couldn’t be with someone who didn’t believe in you. Well I believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me.
• His name is Blane? Oh! That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name
• She thinks you’re shit. And deep down, you know she’s right.
• Love’s a bitch, Duck. Love’s a bitch.
• Despite my appearance at this function, I remain now, and will always be, a Duckman.

Uncle Buck

John Hughes did more than just teen flicks. One of the all-time best comedies is Uncle Buck. This is truly John Candy at his best. And McCauley Culken at his best too, come to think of it.

• You should have seen the toast, I couldn’t even get it through the door!
• I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. ((Amen to that, Buck!!))
• Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
• Q: Why was your Uncle micro waving your socks? A: He can’t get the goddamn washing machine to work.
• How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep?
• I don’t know why we need boys at all. They’re so loud.

I could go on all night. Consider the movies I haven’t quoted. Can you name these movies?

Another teen classic.

• Accident my ass Gary! My parents are coming home. Chet’s coming home. They’re gonna freak out!!
• Why do you have to be such a wanker?

This one is probably on most 30-something’s top 10. I liked his others better but this is definitely a classic.

• Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn’t I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?
• Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
• Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us?

If you dont’ know this movie by one quote, well, you are NOT a fan.

• You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!

Of course, many of these movies would not be complete with a soundtrack to go with them. I’ve compiled a few that should help you with your stroll down memory lane.

And if that weren’t enough, did you know that John Hughes probably WROTE some of your other favorite films? Yes indeed! The films above are just the gems he directed! Here is a list of some classics penned by the dearly departed Hughes (in chronological order, to be fair):

• Mr. Mom
• Vacation
• European Vacation
• Some Kind of Wonderful
• She’s Having a Baby
• The Great Outdoors ((Hughes certainly loved John Candy!))
• Christmas Vacation
• Home Alone
• Maid in Manhattan (the story, not the screenplay)

Mr. Hughes, you spoke to me. You spoke to my generation. You made us laugh at ourselves and you made us cry because we were ourselves. You made it okay to be a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess or a criminal. Or a geek hoisting borrowed underwear. Or a fat man making the biggest pancake ever. You saw the best in us, even at our worst. And you will be missed.

I am sad today. A generation is sad today.

I’ve left out a TON of quotes, on purpose. Please comment with your fave.

Yes, I worked at Hooters. You got a problem with that?

Yay, I’m back in high school again. Ok, not really, but the Un-Mom has tagged me, so I guess I have to go back. Back to big hair, bad music, pom-poms and angst. Great.

So, without further ado (To plagerize the Un-Mom), here are 7 things you should know about me as a teenager:

1. I totally had a thing for basketball players. Seriously, I dated a lot of basketball players in high school. My long-term boyfriend played (and was really good). I had crushes on the varsity players when I was a freshman. I had crushes on freshman players when I was a freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. I was just crazy about basketball players. I was crazy about basketball. I was the basketball manager. I even got kicked out of a basketball game, as a cheerleader, for getting in a ref’s face and mouthing off.
   
2. Nice segue to #2. I was a cheerleader. Pom-poms, short skirts, flash pants and all. I cheered in junior high and in high school. I was pretty good. Of course, back in the 80s cheerleading was not the Gatorade-sponsored, ESPN-lovin’, crazed sport it is now. It was good, clean fun with a few backflips thrown in. I did manage to break my tailbone, though (thanks Stacy, if you were to ever read this) so don’t tell me it’s not a sport!

   

3. I was a roller-DIVA! I grew up in a roller rink called Roller City. My mom taught me when I was 3 and we would go every Thursday night for family night. It was our thing. It got to the point where the limbo winner AND the person who came in second would get free passes. (Since I won every week, that only seemed fair.) For races, when the other kids only had to do 1 lap, I had to do 2. And I would still win. They moved me up to the teen races when I was 9. Then I only had to do 1 1/2 laps. They say do what you love, so I worked there for a few years too. I know, I’m so cool such a loser.

   

4. My first car was this horrible Datsun. It was a 4-speed, manual transmission wagon that I bought for $500 from a friend of my mom’s, not knowing the heater didn’t work. It was November in Colorado. I was also so afraid of not being able to time the gas and the clutch correctly on hills that I would go a mile out of my way to the aforementioned roller rink (work) because there was a huge hill, where the light was always red. (God’s idea of a joke, I guess.)

   

5. I was in the habit of sneaking out some nights to meet up with my friends (not boys, other girls who were actually allowed to go out after dinner). One winter night—everything happens during the winter in Colorado—I snuck out to chill (literally, it would appear). I came home about midnight to discover that some time in the night my mother had gotten up and closed my window. And locked the front door. I was crushed. She must really hate me to lock me outside in the dead of winter. I refused to give in to her and knock on the door. I was young and tough so I figured I would just wait it out in the car (she never locked her car). Well, 3 hours 10 minutes later, the wuss in me won out. I had to knock on the door and beg her to let me in. Boy was she surprised to see me. She had no idea that I had been out. She got up to pee, noticed my window open and closed it, never noticing I wasn’t in bed. Mental note: when sneaking out, take your keys!
6. Like all teenage girls, I had some posters on the wall. My walls were covered with pre-gay George Michael, Sting, Rick Springfield, and Duran Duran.

   

7. And last but not least, I LOVED JAKE RYAN. If you don’t know who Jake Ryan was, 1) you were not a teen chick in the 80s and/or 2) you haven’t seen one of the greatest movies of all time!

   

Now it’s my turn to tag. I know she’s probably sick of being tagged, but that’s what happens to the popular girls…they get tagged! So, Miss Caught Up, go go go and relive your teenage years! I’d also like to know more about the teen years of:

Dagny a.ka. Scratch Bags: because she seems like a cool chick!
Daddy Papersurfer: I don’t know if he’ll participate, but it would be fun to hear about the “olden days”!
Atomic DogmA: DP knows all the fun people.
Probably Sucks: I want to read what crazy shit he’ll write!

I’m only tagging 5 people. The rest of you, use the comments and tell me something about you as a teenager!