The funny face never goes out of style

‘m so glad that April is over. It was a really crappy month for the Johnson/Conger families, and we ended the month with Jonah missing Easter because he brought home some strep throat (the gift that keeps on giving), and Chris and Zachary went down hard. Fortunately for Zachary, he was feeling almost 100% by the end of the week, and played a great baseball game Saturday. Unfortunately for Chris, the strep bug gripped him tighter than an upside-down pole dancer grips her pole, and he was a miserable mess for almost 3 days.

Which brings us to sushi and bowling. Chris wanted all of us out of the house so he could get some rest, and seriously, who can blame him? So he requested that I go and “do something fun” with the boys–I decided on bowling. Zachary hasn’t used his bowling ball since he received it for his 7th birthday (and he’s almost 8), and who doesn’t love a good bowling alley on a Saturday night?

First, however, we had to stop at Marshalls for some new pillows, and it turns out there is a cute little sushi place in the same strip mall. I made the decision that we were going to eat there; it was, after all, right across the street from the bowling alley. Turns out it was a pretty good decision. The sushi was really good, and I actually got Zachary to try some, which he enjoyed except for my wasabi-laden soy sauce. The dinner entrees were yummy, the ambiance was great, and the boys and I had a really enjoyable dinner.

Next stop, bowling! Bowling with an almost-8-year old, and a 4-year old can go one of two ways: great or awful. This time was great. We got there about an hour before cosmic bowling, and we bowled a few games. Then cosmic bowling started and instead of leaving, Zachary asked if we could bowl one more. Of course, I think he wanted to show off his awesome robot dance moves more than he wanted to bowl–we don’t have cool strobes and black lights at our house. So we stayed for one more.

It was a really fun night, and very memorable. The boys were nice to each other (which wore off the next day, I knew it was too good to last too long), and we all had a lot of fun. There were also a few laughs–Jonah never disappoints. Check out the video of poor Jonah, learning the hard way, not to follow the ball down the lane, hee hee.

If you’d like another little chuckle, check out Zachary’s smooth dance moves.

A catcher and his body are like the outlaw and his horse. He’s got to ride that nag till it drops. ~Johnny Bench

Zachary is getting a good feel for catching, and the new stance Chris has him in has definitely improved his batting. I created this little video of him at our last game against the Mets. Unfortunately, we lost. There’s always next time!

For those interested, this video was taken and modified entirely on my iPhone 4. The video was shot using the regular iPhone 4 camera, and then modified using the Silent Film Director app, where I sped it up a bit, added a 70s filter, and my own music.

It’s also very interesting to see how Chris and I have influenced him, and his vocabulary. We never really talked to him like he was a baby or a child, which is evidenced by his use and understanding of words and terms well beyond his age. This can be a great thing, but every coin has two sides, and many words have multiple meanings. And it can often be amusing to hear Zachary’s definitions of words he thinks he knows.

A perfect example came from a Goosebumps book he was reading the other day. I randomly have him read out loud a few pages of the various books he reads to check his comprehension, and he came across the sentence “The window was framed by large, black, ominous shutters.” I made him stop there, because I was sure the word “ominous” was going to trip him up. As it turned out, however, I was wrong. He very clearly defined ominous as “scary and evil”, which, while technically defined as “…foreboding or foreshadowing evil…”, Zachary obviously got the point.

No, ominous did not trip him up at all–but he still had an odd look on his face, like he didn’t quite understand the sentence. After a moment of thought I realized the word that was causing him problems was “framed”, so I asked him if he knew what that word meant. He told me he did, but he didn’t understand what it had to do with a window. Now it was my turn to look perplexed, and I asked him to tell me what the word “framed” meant, to which he replied, “That’s when someone tries to get you into trouble by blaming you for something that you didn’t do. So what would someone be blaming a window for, anyway?“

Priceless. My 7-year old doesn’t equate “framed” with enclosing something, like a picture or a window; no, he understands the nefarious act of falsely accusing someone of something. Where did I go wrong? (That’s a rhetorical question. Heh, one of these days I’ll write a post about that word.)

Zachary gets to work

Chris and I went back and forth, and while money wasn’t the issue (we had a generous benefactor the past two years), we decided we wanted Zachary to attend the school that was just down the street and has earned a great reputation over the past few years, instead of shuttling him 30-40 minutes each way, every day. We also want The Goose to start creating the kind of friendships that span elementary school, middle school, high school, and beyond. He would not be able to do that if we kept him at FLEC–once he hit high school we would either have to move to keep him in a high school with his friends, or we would have to pull him away from all of the friends he’d made over the years. We’d rather pull him away now.

Of course, that’s not to say that we won’t move before he’s out of school–in fact it would be really odd if we were still on Lake Alden for the next 10 years, but you never know. I like my home. We also have to consider Jonah. There’s no way to afford FLEC for both of them, when Jonah starts kindergarten in a few years, so he will likely start Apopka, where Zachary is now.

There are a few other, personal reasons, for the switch, but this post isn’t about me.

As for totally screwing Zachary up before he moves out on his own some day, only time will tell. I have plenty of other opportunities to mess him up major decisions to make on his behalf between now and then.

The afternoon’s love fest started with Zachary trying to watch the cartoon that Jonah was watching and Jonah blocking Zachary’s view. After a few renditions of “get out of my way!” followed by grunting and heavy breathing, I was not surprised when the high-pitched shrieking reached my ears.

When I got to the living room I found Zachary looking contrite and trying to console a wailing Jonah. Okay, he was really trying to talk him into not squealing on him. Which of course, Jonah promptly did. It seems that Jonah had been standing on the couch, and when he wouldn’t get out of Zachary’s way, Zachary pushed him. Off the couch.

From these pics it’s hard to see how big and dark the bruise was (the little bugger won’t stand sill!), but it’s several days later and he still has his “trophy”.

I’m sure this is just the first of many brother-inflicted wounds to come. I think it’s time to invest in a first aid kit. Or a stand-by EMT.

Sigh. Another rite of passage over. Next thing I know he’ll be asking for the car keys.

This is such an important and worthwhile cause that I’m having Zachary walk with me. I’m so looking forward to Zachary meeting my friend’s son, Will, who was born premature (at 25 weeks) and has his own share of challenges. From what Janey has said, Will is a funny, precocious, lively and dear kid and I think he and The Goose will get along famously. I hope The Goose can keep up with him!

I need some help, though.
As you can see if you look over there ————————————>
I’m a little short of my goal. Every little bit helps. $10, $15, $25, etc. Please open your hearts and your wallets and donate a little coin to this wonderful organization. Help me and Zachary help babies in need. Just click on the badge.

If you’re interested in learning more about Will, Janey is always too happy to talk about her wonderful son. Check out Confessions of a Middle-Aged Suburban Diva.

In his usual, exuberant manner, Zachary sang with all of his voice, heart and body. I am very proud of him and his performance, and I hope that he always finds such joy in song and dance.

I know, there are a lot of bloggers out there who do a “Wordless Wednesday” post. Call me a rebel. I’m reversing the trend and going with “Wednesday’s Words.”

Today’s words were penned by none other than The Goose (aka, Zachary). We were all sitting at dinner some time back, talking about stories and the writing he was doing in school when out of the blue, he makes up this poem, The Moon is a Cookie.

Enjoy!

The Moon is a Cookie

The moon is a cookie;
The moon is a flower;
The moon is a rose, that blossoms at night.
The moon is a sliver that slips through the treetops,
and crosses the ribbons of slivers of light.

Poem by Zachary. Punctuation by me.

All the way to the store tonight (and back) I’ve been trying to dream up a new post. Sometimes inspiration comes in floods, and sometimes it doesn’t come at all. That’s how I was feeling tonight. I couldn’t think of anything even remotely interesting to put on paper, let alone on the perma-web.

Fast forward to that peaceful place when Jonah is in bed and daddy is in the office working. No TV, no distractions. Just me and the Goose. I was enjoying some quiet time with Zachary when a random thought occurred to me. “I wonder what Zachary knows/thinks about his mommy.” So while he was beating his Zune at checkers, I thought up 20 questions to pose to my beyond-his-years 5-year old. Here are the results:

Obviously I’m asking the questions (Q), and he’s responding (A).

Q. What is mommy’s favorite color?
A. Red. Just like me.

Q. What is mommy’s favorite animal:?
A. The muskox. Ha ha! i’m just being sarcastic. ((Sarcastic is his new favorite word. Isn’t that cute? Did you notice the sarcasm?)) You really love polar bears.

Okay. The kid’s 2 for 2.

Q. What is mommy’s middle name?
A. Jean. Because of Great-Grandma Jean.

Honestly, I had no idea he knew what my middle name was.

Q. What’s daddy’s middle name?
A. I have no idea.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite food.
A. My guess would be spaghetti since we have it so much.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite team.
A. The Vikings, d’uh!

Q. What does mommy do?
A. You work on the computer all day.

Q. What does daddy do?
A. He sells snacks and sodas to people.

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite music?
A. U2. ((Okay, while U2 isn’t a music, it’s still a good answer.))

Q. What’s mommy’s favorite thing to do?
A. I’m guessing work on the computer since you do it so much.

Ouch.

Q. How old is mommy?
A. [insert scrunchy face, and steamy ears] You’re 37.
My response: how do you know that?!
His answer: because daddy’s 38 and you’re 1 year younger.

Damn, was I that smart at 5??

Q. Who does mommy like better, Iron Man or Spiderman?
A. Iron Man. I know you don’t like Spiderman. ((I know this fact breaks his heart, because he loves Spiderman.))

Trick Q. Who’s a better driver? Mommy or Daddy?
Correct A. You are, because you have a sports car and they’re harder to drive.

That’s my boy!

Q. How does mommy usually feel?
A. Kind of mad. Well, kind of mad when Jonah is running around. When he’s in his chair you’re usually happy.

Hmm, note to self: keep Jonah strapped in chair all day.

Q. Who do you think mommy would rather be: Princess Leia, or Darth Vader?
A. I know you like Darth Vader cuz he’s cool, but I think you’d want to be Princess Leia cuz she’s good and Darth Vader’s bad. You’re good.

I love that my kid still thinks I’m good. Give it a few years, he’ll think I’m Vader.

Q. What color eyes does mommy have?
A. Blue.
Follow-up: What color eyes do you have?
A. Blue.
Follow-follow-up: What color eyes does daddy have?
A. Blue
Follow-follow-follow-up: What color eyes does Jonah have?
A. Mom, this is stupid. his eyes are blue too.

Q. Did my kid just call me stupid?

Q. What do you like best about mommy?
A. You love me.

Q. What do you like least about mommy?
A. You work on the computer all the time.

Q. How would you describe mommy?
A. You’re the awesomest mommy I’ve had in my life.

As opposed to the mommy he sent back. Okay, seriously, you just can’t buy better positive affirmation than that!

And finally,

Q. Who’s the boss in our house?
A. Mommy. Oh, and daddy. I’d better say daddy too.

That’s right–he knows what’s what!

And there you have it. 20 things my kid thinks and/or knows about me. Now That’s a meme!