The funny face never goes out of style

‘m so glad that April is over. It was a really crappy month for the Johnson/Conger families, and we ended the month with Jonah missing Easter because he brought home some strep throat (the gift that keeps on giving), and Chris and Zachary went down hard. Fortunately for Zachary, he was feeling almost 100% by the end of the week, and played a great baseball game Saturday. Unfortunately for Chris, the strep bug gripped him tighter than an upside-down pole dancer grips her pole, and he was a miserable mess for almost 3 days.

Which brings us to sushi and bowling. Chris wanted all of us out of the house so he could get some rest, and seriously, who can blame him? So he requested that I go and “do something fun” with the boys–I decided on bowling. Zachary hasn’t used his bowling ball since he received it for his 7th birthday (and he’s almost 8), and who doesn’t love a good bowling alley on a Saturday night?

First, however, we had to stop at Marshalls for some new pillows, and it turns out there is a cute little sushi place in the same strip mall. I made the decision that we were going to eat there; it was, after all, right across the street from the bowling alley. Turns out it was a pretty good decision. The sushi was really good, and I actually got Zachary to try some, which he enjoyed except for my wasabi-laden soy sauce. The dinner entrees were yummy, the ambiance was great, and the boys and I had a really enjoyable dinner.

Next stop, bowling! Bowling with an almost-8-year old, and a 4-year old can go one of two ways: great or awful. This time was great. We got there about an hour before cosmic bowling, and we bowled a few games. Then cosmic bowling started and instead of leaving, Zachary asked if we could bowl one more. Of course, I think he wanted to show off his awesome robot dance moves more than he wanted to bowl–we don’t have cool strobes and black lights at our house. So we stayed for one more.

It was a really fun night, and very memorable. The boys were nice to each other (which wore off the next day, I knew it was too good to last too long), and we all had a lot of fun. There were also a few laughs–Jonah never disappoints. Check out the video of poor Jonah, learning the hard way, not to follow the ball down the lane, hee hee.

If you’d like another little chuckle, check out Zachary’s smooth dance moves.

back to diapers

Today will be an interesting day for Jonah at school; today Jonah goes back to wearing diapers.

For the past few months Jonah has stopped pooping in the toilet at school. He has no problem peeing, but when he has to poop, he finds a corner in his classroom and does his business in his pants. He’s been doing this at home, as well, but not as often–at home he at least tries to get to the bathroom.

It’s kind of turning into a game, to get to change his clothes. -Mrs. Kim

When this first started happening we thought something happened in the bathroom at school that suddenly traumatized Jonah, keeping him from wanting to go poop there. But after several weeks of pleading, bribing, scolding, ignoring, and being all around frustrated, it’s become pretty clear that he’s not traumatized, and he knows when he needs to use the bathroom. The kid regularly squeezes out some seriously monster logs, so it’s not a physical issue. It appears to be some kind of game for him, or a battle of the wills. What Jonah doesn’t understand is that I’ve been willful 36 years longer than he has. My will win out.

So, as promised yesterday if he didn’t do better pooping at school, Jonah will be put in diapers today and will go back to the other building, in the toddler’s class. So far the only thing to upset him when we talk about pooping in his pants, is the threat of diapers. So let’s see if that does the trick. Besides, you have no idea how sick I am of cleaning out poopy underwear that’s been sitting in a plastic bag all afternoon. Ugh.

If anyone out there has an idea as to other solutions to this problem, please share. I’m all ears!

The afternoon’s love fest started with Zachary trying to watch the cartoon that Jonah was watching and Jonah blocking Zachary’s view. After a few renditions of “get out of my way!” followed by grunting and heavy breathing, I was not surprised when the high-pitched shrieking reached my ears.

When I got to the living room I found Zachary looking contrite and trying to console a wailing Jonah. Okay, he was really trying to talk him into not squealing on him. Which of course, Jonah promptly did. It seems that Jonah had been standing on the couch, and when he wouldn’t get out of Zachary’s way, Zachary pushed him. Off the couch.

From these pics it’s hard to see how big and dark the bruise was (the little bugger won’t stand sill!), but it’s several days later and he still has his “trophy”.

I’m sure this is just the first of many brother-inflicted wounds to come. I think it’s time to invest in a first aid kit. Or a stand-by EMT.

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.

I have to preface this post by saying that as parents, Chris and I have been incredibly lucky. Up until last Thursday. We’ve managed to go 6+ years with no major traumas to the boys. No broken bones, no stitches, no major maladies—so far only one hospital visit, years ago, which turned out to be an ear infection. So we were very unprepared for our first child trauma. And still we are very lucky. Our first trauma involved a big clay pot, a reckless almost-three-year-old, and an even fatter lip.

The Culprit

This is the culprit. A big clay pot. Innocent enough, until a silly toddler goes running haphazardly through the backyard, trips, and introduces his upper lip to Mr. Clay Pot. Blood, screaming, crying and mayhem ensue. Of course head wounds (and by extension mouth wounds) bleed profusely. So of course there was blood everywhere. Poor Jonah was screaming and crying. Zachary was crying because he was scared. Chris and I were just looking at each other with that WFT look in our eyes. It was not a pretty sight. After about 10 minutes and the promise of popsicles and The Backardigans, we were finally able to calm Jonah down.

Did I mention this was on Thursday? The weekend ((This weekend includes Friday.)) was spent cuddling and coddling the Bear. Giving lots of TLC, popsicles, and Nintendo DS time. On Friday his lip had swollen out past his nose—so swollen that his upper lip skin stretched too much and separated a little bit. Gross, I know.

Friday was mostly spent snuggling and trying to get liquids and nourishment into the Bear. He just couldn’t eat or drink much. It was heartbreaking. As a parent there really is nothing worse than your child in pain. And this was nothing I could “fix”. You can’t put a band-aid inside the mouth. The doctor said there was really nothing to do but let it heal on its own. Which sucks. Because while his mouth is healing on its own, the Bear still can’t eat, can’t drink, can’t have his binky, can’t give me sweet little kisses.

Poor little Bear

It was a really crappy, helpless weekend that was spent waiting for Jonah’s lip to get better. Throw in nasty antibiotics that he refuses to take and swabbing his mouth twice a day with yummy hydrogen peroxide, it’s safe to say that a good time was had by all.

It’s now Wednesday morning and the outside of his lip is back to normal. The inside of his lip isn’t as hamburger-like as it was four days ago. He’s drinking juice ((No drinking through a straw yet, however.)) and eating normally, as long as the food is cut up and he doesn’t have to use his front teeth to tear anything. All in all, things are almost back to normal.

So now I can sit back and reflect on our first big trauma. In a word, it sucked. Chris and I spent the weekend looking at each other constantly with that helpless look our eyes. Having your child suffer, even if it is mildly, gives a parent a heavy heart and an upset stomach. I know that I am SO lucky. If this is the worst that ever happens I am the luckiest mother on the planet; however I’m not naive enough to think trouble will never befall my boys again. I will just give thanks that, in hindsight, this trauma was so mild. What do you think? Is this just preparing me for bigger, badder boo-boos in the future?

He still can manage a smile

I’ve been a Star Wars fan ever since standing in line with my Dad at the Cooper on Colorado Blvd in Denver, patiently waiting to get in to see the best sci-fi movie ever. I wasn’t even 6 at the time, which seems SO young to watch this film. Then it hits me that Zachary isn’t 6 yet and he’s been a Star Wars fan for over 2 years now. His delight with the franchise started with Legos, and a GameCube–the Lego’s Star Wars Game–which he earned at 3 by sleeping in his own bed seven nights in a row. ((Bribery works, he really wanted that GameCube. He’s been going to bed in his own bed quietly ever since.)) I finally succumbed to the pressure and let him watch the movie when he was 4, with me and dad, of course. He followed the movie, wasn’t scared, and when talking to him about it to make sure he wasn’t scarred for life, I was the silly one, “They aren’t real, mommy!”

Fast forward a few years. While I thought Zachary was tenacious (we often refer to him as “Tenacious Z”), he’s got NOTHING on his brother. Tenacious or obsessive, you be the judge.

Jonah has grown to the ripe old age of 2, watching Zachary play all forms of Star Wars. From the Lego’s Star Wars game I, and then II; watching bits of the movie here and there when no one thinks I’m paying attention; putting together Legos Star Wars battleships; playing with the light saber Zachary was given by my brother. ((I need to remember to thank him for bringing what is akin to a baseball bat into my home, to be swung around at random.)) There is no shortage of Star Wars in this house. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Jonah has developed a complete and total obsession with the franchise. He literally wakes up in the morning with the battle cry “Mommy! Daddy! Star Wars!”

He loves to “play” the Lego’s game with Zachary on the GameCube, jumping up and down and mumbling to himself, just like big brother. He’s also fascinated with actual Legos. Now that I know he won’t put them in his mouth, he’s allowed to play with them. He carries his plastic container full of them through the house, perching here and there to swap out little hats, remove legs, and build little ships he then pretends to fly through the air. If it weren’t so damn annoying wasn’t such an obsession, it would be really cute.

He also “conducts” whenever he hears either the Star Wars theme, or the Imperial Death March, ((You’d be shocked to know that those songs actually play on an almost daily basis here.)) and he will carry around Zachary’s Star Wars sticker book literally for hours.

Actually, it is really cute. The part that’s not fun is having to repeatedly tell him “No!” when he attempts to find and play Zachary’s Nintendo DS. That is the one thing I won’t give in on. Those things are expensive–and Zachary should have at least one thing to call his own, right?

Watching these boys, I have to wonder where they get their obsessive tendencies from. Hmm, by the way, have I mentioned that we’re going to Vegas in June?

I started the day with a snuggly breakfast on the couch, watching cartoons with the boys. That’s always a great way to start the day.

The next great thing to happen was I tucked in my shirt and put on a belt while getting dressed. While that may not seem like anything special, those of you who know I’ve been on a weight loss mission will understand how big this is. For those of you who didn’t know, now you do. I haven’t tucked in a shirt in over 4 years, nor have I wore a belt. So as you can surmise, this is quite an accomplishment!

Then Jonah and I were off. The day was spent on a mission to retrieve one item from IKEA–a rolling storage container. The container wasn’t at all what I remembered so I had to pass. I also passed the small bookcase that goes with my office set, a nice set of shelves to put by the back door for all the back door stuff, and solutions for my electronic’s charging woes and Zachary’s these-things-belong-to-me woes (Jonah is getting very crafty). Believe it or not, I spent less than $80.

Then it was off to lunch at the Millenia Mall. Jonah and I shared a pizza at California Pizza Kitchen. He was his charming self, saying “please” and “thank you” for everything, and just being cute overall. This wasn’t one of those dining experiences where you want to get your 2-year old out as quick as possible. We had a really nice time.

Once lunch was finished, it was off to Apple to get a replacement battery for my MacBook. Now maybe my laptop will stop acting like a desktop since it doesn’t have to be tethered to a cord anymore. Again, Jonah was great at the mall. ((I keep wondering who this kid is and whether or not I get to keep him.)) We didn’t make it to the Nike store to return a pair of shoes–Jonah was tired and I wasn’t going to press my luck.

Imagine my surprise when I came home to find that Zachary and Chis had cleaned the front of the house. The living room, dining room, kitchen and sun room were clean. They had been picked up, dusted, swept and vacuumed. ((Again, who are these people, and can they stay?)) Then, feeling particularly handy, Chris put together my bookcase and shelves. What more could a girl ask for?

The boys were in bed at 7:00, having had a busy day. I love my boys, but early bedtime is always nice! Since this is a G-rated blog, I have to resist talking about some evening activities.

So you see? It wasn’t an earth shattering day. It was just one of those rare, great, stars are aligned and everything’s groovy kind of days.

I would love to know what goes through the mind of a strong-willed 2-year old. Jonah is that, and more. He’s crazy, smart, crafty and TWO. Here’s what you need to know about him right now:

Taking his cue from Zachary, he is now obsessed with Star Wars. (Or at least the GameCube Legos version of Star Wars.)

He looks so much like me when I was his age.

He loves daycare. Every morning has him climbing up the changing table to get dressed for school.

When told “I love you!” he will respond “ove you!” (Think “love” without the “L”)

His favorite things are butterflies and ladybugs.

He already looks up to his big brother for everything.

Daddy says, and I quote, “He’s a 2-year old terror!”

He loves music and dancing. (Hmm, I wonder where he gets that from?)

Above everything, he loves to color and write. The kid holds a pen with a perfect grip.

Books. The boy loves books. All books. I swear I read at least five books a day to him, and he sleeps with at least two books.

Jonah recognizes the colors red, blue, yellow, and green. He’s also been sorting shapes, correctly, for over 6 months.

And he’s finally a little talker. His vocabulary includes:

Mommy (of course!)
Daddy
Zachey
binky
No!
yes
Nana
Gigi
Uncle
butterfly (technically his first word)
bug
bottle
turtle
doggie
kitty
monkey
birdie
juice
please
thank you
eat
Star Wars (I’m not kidding on this one)
shoes
socks
mouse
pants
night night
moon (or “moot” as he actually calls it)
stars
birdy
plane
truck
cow
duck
two
empty
play
rocket (from Little Einsteins)
ball
football
burger
poopy
various animal noises
and more I’m sure I’m forgetting.

Finally, some of his phrases include:

“Help, mommy, now, please!”

“Ove you!” (translated as “Love you!”)

“No! No! No! No!”

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”

“Da-ddy!”

“Funny!”

“All done.”

He’s saying more everyday. That’s our Little Bear right now. All the trials and tribulations of life with a 2-year old.

In 16 years, either I will have two kids in college and I can pat myself on the back for a job well done, or I will have the best party $50,000 can buy. We just beat the deadline to lock in the current rates for the Florida pre-paid college plan, and I have now agreed to dish out over $200/month for the next 12 years to ensure that Zachary and Jonah will at least have their college tuitions paid for.

In these economic times, the thought of parting with another $200 a month doesn’t thrill me. The thought, however, of my boys having the opportunity to attend college and not worry about where the tuition is coming from does thrill me. Oh, and not having to pay the projected $141,000 (EACH) to send them tickles my fancy too.

As we get older, life gets messier, and we don’t have time for all of the things we loved. Having kids makes up for that sometimes. I now have the opportunity to live vicariously through two fabulous boys—I just need to slow down and remember that. Especially when there is no yelling, crying, fighting, or throwing of non-throwable ((is that a word?)) objects. In an extremely rare moment, I actually had both boys sitting at their table painting together. It truly was a thing of beauty.

Want to see what that actually looks like?

Or should I say, no more Johnson Family videos on YouTube. While I still have favorites, and will look to YouTube for humor, political, or just random videos, I will no longer be using their services to post our family videos. This has been a long time coming, as I’ve toyed with this thought for several months now. First when I saw they had added the feature to show other ‘like’ videos within my embedded videos, then when I compared their crappy video quality to the video quality I’m getting from Apple’s MobileMe (or a different provider, should I decide not to stick with MoblieMe) Daily Motion.

UPDATE 2/5/09: While MobileMe offers great features and wonderful video quality, I am not going to subscribe. I just don’t use enough of the features and options to justify the $99. I did find a great alternative: Daily Motion. ((I’ve edited the remaining text within this post to reflect the change to Daily Motion.))

The deciding factor against YouTube, however, was when I found a mean and nasty comment on the last video I posted of Jonah and Zachary being silly and dancing. The comment stated “This is the dumbest video ever. Too stupid.” and the commenter rated it 1-star. You can say anything you want about me, but be an asshole to my kids, and we have a problem. I thought about keeping the comment, and commenting back on just what I thought of this loser, then I decided it wouldn’t be worth it. One thing I’ve learned is that there are a lot of stupid people on the internet, and they’re not going to change simply because I point out their stupidity to them.

So from now on videos will be uploaded to Daily Motion and embedded from there.

Here’s the video Mr. Jackass hated so much. Two kids having fun, what could be cuter?

Like YouTube, feel free to leave your comments below (unless you were going to say something nasty—then we’ll need to chat).